The Blessing of Boss Lady Besties + How to Find Your Tribe

March 31, 2016

About two years ago at a conference in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, I nervously went up to a redhead in the hotel lobby and tapped her on the shoulder. We’d only ever interacted in the conference Facebook group set up for attendees, and we’d struck up a tentative friendship over Facebook comments and emails. You see, we decided that since we were both relatively young business owners, we should split the cost of a room together at the conference venue, and keep our fingers crossed that the other wasn’t secretly some creep. Luckily for both of us, we turned out to be perfectly normal and respectful roommates who just so happened to have quite a bit in common. We stayed up late talking every night, laughed too hard over dorky jokes, and bonded over Chipotle burritos.

the blessing of boss lady besties + how to start finding your tribe today! | b is for bonnie design

That’s how I met my boss lady bestie, Laura Joseph. If you’ve seen us together at the Illume Retreat or the Creative at Heart Conference, we’re practically joined at the hip! What all started as an awkward request for a roommate in a Facebook group has blossomed into one of the most joy-filled, open and genuine friendships I’ve found in this creative industry. At that same conference, we hilariously pumped into Kat Schmoyer and Taylor Schumann in the hotel lobby only hours after Laura and I first met. Over the past few years, these women have encouraged me, leveled with me, believed in me, and laughed alongside me no matter what. My little close-knit circle of boss lady besties has impacted not only my business, but my life, in more ways than I can count! Now before I get all sappy with this post, let’s dive into why boss lady besties can be such a blessing in your life, and how you can start to assemble your own tribe today!

They Encourage
True boss lady besties love selflessly. They want to bring out the best in you because they believe in you, not because they’re motivated by some ulterior motive. They see your potential even in seasons when you can’t see it for yourself. And because they care, they’re willing to ask the tough questions and demand the best out of you, no matter what.

They Equip
Surrounding yourself with creative friends who are constantly growing and challenging themselves, to be better artists, business owners, and individuals, will encourage you to do the same. I’ve learned about some incredible tools and resources from my industry friends, and have recommended more than my fair share of books for them to read, too. We know that encouragement alone won’t get us where we want to go, and education is key to helping us build the businesses, and lives, we desire.

They Make the Load Lighter
They just get it, you know? Creative friends understand why it’s so disheartening when you work with a rough client, or when someone asks you for a discount on your services. They can laugh with you about a mixup at the printer, or help you come up with a gracious reply to a snarky comment on social media. With even one great boss lady bestie by your side, the journey suddenly seems less lonely. And although husbands, boyfriends, and loved ones can empathize with you, there are some creative situations where only a fellow creative would be able to commiserate with you.

How to Find Your Tribe
Put yourself out there! If you are actively seeking industry friends, put that energy out there. Don’t just sit at home and expect your new boss lady bestie to show up at your front door unannounced. Instead, ask people to meet up for coffee. Introduce yourself to others at local networking events. Strike up rapport with industry acquaintances via email or social media, and then take those relationships off-line for true face-to-face interaction over coffee or brunch!

Although social media is a fantastic place to start a relationship, take the opportunity to meet your Insta-friends in real life as often as you can! Know a blogger who lives in Boston? Let her know you’ll be in town on business or vacation, and carve out some time in your schedule to get together in person. I can’t tell you how many of my really good friends were formed through Instagram, and if we had never taken the leap to get together in the flesh, I don’t think our relationships would be as deep and well-rooted as they are today.

Most importantly, be vulnerable. You won’t be able to strike up a lasting friendship if you walk into a situation expecting to get something out of it in return. Give selflessly of your time and heart, and you will find a boss lady bestie who will do the same! Yes, sometimes you have to go on a few dud coffee dates with potential industry friends before you find those who will ultimately be a part of your tribe. But once you do find those creatives who just get you, it makes the awkward meetups over coffee totally worth it.

How have you seen relationships play a positive role in your own business?

Photo thanks to Amanda Hedgepeth Photography

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My name is Bonnie – I’m a brand designer, strategist, and writer which all adds up to one eclectic conglomeration of qualities that enables me to serve you well! Past clients have dubbed me "the Joanna Gaines of brand design," and I've had more than a few call me a dream maker, a game changer, and a design wizard (my Harry Potter-loving heart didn't hate that one, let me tell you!). At the end of the day, I'm a big-hearted creative who will get teary-eyed as you share the heart behind your business; who will lose sleep over the perfect font pairings and color selections to bring your brand to life visually; and who will work tirelessly to empower, encourage, and equip you to share your work with the world intentionally. 

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