Episode 122 – Conquering the Fear of Success or Failure with Josh Berger

January 8, 2020

Conquering the Fear of Success or Failure with Josh Berger | Have you ever struggled with fear of failure? Or even the fear of success? In the entrepreneurial world fear is a common word I hear over and over again. But why is it that as humans we fear failure and ALSO success? We’re diving into all the details in this episode of the Brand Strategy Podcast | b is for bonnie design #brandstrategy #fearoffailure #fearofsuccess #fear

The Brand Strategy Podcast Mental Health Series with Josh Berger

Have you ever struggled with fear of failure? Or even the fear of success? In the entrepreneurial world fear is a common word I hear over and over again. But why is it that as humans we fear failure and ALSO success?

I’m excited to introduce you to something a little new on the Brand Strategy Podcast. Over the next few weeks, we’re going to dive into some content that’s a little different than the usual brand strategy and business content we usually talk about on this show.

Instead, I’m inviting you into a series of conversations surrounding some of the most subtly pervasive mental health battles we face as entrepreneurs.

I’m chatting with a licensed therapist, Josh Berger, who also happens to be my big brother, about some of the most common struggles, thought patterns, and barriers we all encounter as humans and especially as entrepreneurs.

Together we’re peeling back the curtain on some of these ideas so you’re able to not only develop a better understanding of yourself and your struggles, but also how to have a clear path to move forward.

Hit play on the media player above and hang out with us!

Conquering the Fear of Success or Failure with Josh Berger

At this point in our relationship, I believe you know I care deeply about equipping you with the tools you need to pursue your definition of success, whether that is strategy-based or in this case more emotionally based.

Josh Berger, a licensed professional for over 10 years joins us to share more about his experience with success and failure.

“With fear of success and fear of failure, I think the first word of both of those is what’s so important,” Josh explained. “It’s a base of fear and fear is something a lot of us struggle with and if it turns into a sort of theme in our life it can turn into anxiety where it feels where you feel more comfortable being nervous and having worries then you are comfortable in being peaceful and successful.”

He talks about how fear of success and fear of failure is more of a both-and versus an either-or feeling because they are all based on one common theme: fear.

TWO MINDSETS AROUND FEAR

There are two common mindsets around fear. The first being: do I have what it takes?

This is where many of us feel fear of failure because we aren’t sure if we can possibly do what it takes to make x, y, or z happen.

The second mindset is: imposter syndrome. Yup, I know we all feel this one. You’ve probably thought things like: I got here by luck. I actually am not a big deal. I’m not good at business I just deceived other people into thinking I’m good. I don’t actually know what I’m doing …

Both of these mindsets are part of our human condition. Unless you’ve done a ton of self reflection to overcome these mindsets, you will at one point or another experience them in different ways. 

Fear obstructs our ability to see the possibility and opportunities. But when we experience fear, we’re protecting ourselves from something. Tune in to hear Josh explain more about the two mindsets around fear.

THE TIMELINE OF FEAR AND SUCCESS

Do you know if you’re suffering from fear of success or fear of failure? Josh gives us a super interesting exercise.

Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of it. Create a timeline of your business and the business history. Include things like the decisions you’ve made, goals you’ve met, goals you’ve missed, etc.

Put all the positive experiences above the line. Things like good wins, goals hit, sales goals accomplished, you name it.

Below the line, write all the hardships, failures, or times you felt like you fell into a pit. 

What decisions did you make that led to each piece of history of your business story? This can really help you start to pinpoint what decisions led to success and what decisions led to failures or hurts.

We tend to focus on the hardships, but don’t forget about all the successes you’ve had too! We forget all the decisions it took us to get here and to help us realize that actually we are not imposters, we are business owners and good at what we do!

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH FEAR

“You are more than your anxiety or more than your depression.” – Josh Berger

A big misconception is that fear is unhealthy. Fear is a very neutral thing. It’s designed to keep us alive in some way. Back in the caveman days, if you didn’t have fear in the back of your brain you wouldn’t be on the lookout for a saber-tooth tiger prowling behind you, right? It’s in our human nature to have fight and flight because that’s what helps us grow and survive things. 

But we need to use the energy of fear in a positive way, not a negative one. 

A way to get started is to identify your fears altogether. In this episode, Josh walks through another practical exercise (24:00) to help you identify fears of your past and fears in the moment. Tune in using the media player above.

DIVING INTO YOUR UNIQUE GIFTS

Once you identify your fears. It’s time to dive into who you are. What is your identity in this? And how do you get from not only navigating your fears of success or failure, but actually seeing them disappear altogether?

You’ll experience pure joy as you begin to dig into yourself and understand your fears, the decisions leading to those fears, and how to overcome them. That joy is your victory, sweet friends. 

Fear doesn’t need to take ownership over you. I hope these exercises and this conversation with Josh can lead you into a freedom over fear and anxiety.

SHOW NOTES

6:20 – Josh explains the difference between fear of success and fear of failure, but also the similarities.

8:15 – Nix the self doubt or shame you possess around fear because we all will feel fear at one point or another

9:30 – The two mindsets that are part of our human condition

11:15 – Fears and worries vs opportunities and what that means

14:30 – The success and failure timeline exercise

17:15 – What is self sabotage and how to overcome it

20:00 – The idea of the energy of fear

23:00 – The first step in identifying your fears + a practical exercise to identify fears of your past and fears of the moment.

29:00 – Finding freedom over fear

IDENTIFYING YOUR FEAR

And the end of the day, we all need to look at the work we are doing and ask ourselves if those endeavors are truly propelling us to live the kind of life and have the kind of business that fits into the life we’re dreaming of. 

If at the end of the day it’s leaving you empty, burned out, and stressed out that is not a successful or life-giving experience to me. So to me, I would much rather slow down and pump the brakes on the business talk and open up conversations about these pervasive topics that so many of us struggle with.

I hope today’s conversation has brought you a lot of hope and encouragement. Fear doesn’t have to be a bad thing. And if we can properly identify it and navigate it we will feel the freedom in our life and business we’re looking for. 

Be sure to tune into next week’s episode all about identity and separating you personal identity from your business identity!


RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Alethia Counseling

If you want to chat with Josh for encouragement or advice on this topic you can email him directly at: bergercounseling@gmail.com

Continue this conversation with me over on Instagram!

Tune into the entire Podcast series with Josh Berger

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Conquering the Fear of Success or Failure with Josh Berger | Have you ever struggled with fear of failure? Or even the fear of success? In the entrepreneurial world fear is a common word I hear over and over again. But why is it that as humans we fear failure and ALSO success? We’re diving into all the details in this episode of the Brand Strategy Podcast | b is for bonnie design #brandstrategy #fearoffailure #fearofsuccess #fear

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I'm Bonnie -- a designer, brand designer + strategist, writer, wife, and pet parent to the most rambunctious golden retriever this side of the Mason-Dixon! I'm passionate about building authentic brands, encouraging small business owners to chase their dreams, and spreading joy through design. It's a delight to have you here, lovely! Grab a cup of coffee, pull up a comfy chair and stay a while, won't you?

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