Rejection is one of those things that we ALL deal with throughout our lives. Which is why I’m so excited about diving into this topic on the Brand Strategy Podcast. I believe we need to learn—especially as entrepreneurs—how to handle rejection when it inevitably comes our way and also how we can turn down the volume on those negative self-talk loops running through our heads.
Today’s conversation we’re diving back into the Mental Health Series with professional licensed counselor and my big brother, Josh Berger. The last few episodes of this series we talked a lot about fear of failure and fear of success and defining your identity + sense of balance.
But I am extremely excited about today’s topic of rejection and negative self talk because there is so much vulnerability that goes into being an entrepreneur. We are out here pursuing our passions and skills and we love sharing them with the world. But one little piece of rejection brings out the negative self talk and imposter syndrome. Am I right?
Tune in to today’s episode using the media player above for a look inside to why we as humans get hung up on rejection.
WHY WE FEEL REJECTION
“When you think back to the caveman or cavewoman days,” Josh explained. “You’re talking about rejection as a failure, right? We tend to feel like failures whenw e mess up or experience someone rejecting us way back when. As a caveman or cavewomen, rejection would have been whenever something life threatening didn’t go well. And when something life threatening doesn’t go well, you’re probably seriously injured or even experience death.”
Josh goes on to explain that our brains have not really developed much past those caveman days and so first we need to start with a better understanding of how our minds are wired.
Thousands of years ago, rejections would mean that one time you seriously messed up. And fortunately for us, as our society has progressed rejection doesn’t necessarily mean life threatening anymore. However our brains still experience the same level of doubt and fear, fight, flight, and freeze.
Rejection is a universal feeling so do not let it make you feel alone or like an imposter.
A big key to rejection is slowing down and asking yourself, “okay, why am I experiencing this?”
Give yourself the initial emotional response before feeling like you have to make a decision or figure out the next step.
LOGGING YOUR SUCCESS AND FAILURES
“We need five times the number of successes than our failures in order to feel confident and like we’re actually achieving things.” – Josh Berger
Mind blown, right? I mean how accurate is Josh in this statement?! For every negative comment you receive I’m sure you feel rejection. But how do you feel when you receive a positive comment? It’s so easy for us to be hard on ourselves and brush the positives under the rug, when in reality we need to take a serious look at all of the positive successes we encounter versus the negative rejection.
Tune in using the media player above for a super easy exercise Josh walks us through to jot down your successes and failures in a daily, weekly, or even monthly view.
CUTTING OUT NEGATIVE SELF TALK
What would you say to a friend? We often speak internal negative dialogue to ourselves throughout the day that we would NEVER say to a friend. In fact, oftentimes we say things to ourselves we would never even say to our worst enemy! So how do we cut this negative self talk back?
Josh explains we need to be better at affirming our identity and understanding our makeup because at the end of the day we are all different. For some—especially all my Enneagram One’s out there—you may have a louder critic inside your head than others and that’s OKAY. What can be a loud voice that points out areas where you didn’t do it perfectly can be an opportunity to take control of that volume knob and turn it down. Maybe hit the mute button and give yourself the grace of looking inside yourself.
Being able to embrace your identity, knowing what you’re good at and the gifts you’ve been given to use in the world can bring freedom to your negative self talk.
Just know sweet friend, there is no one on this planet who is good at everything.
Join us as we dive even deeper into defining our gifts. The simple question to ask yourself when cutting back negative self talk. And truly taking a look at the life you want to live instead of the expectations you think you should live up to.
If you want to prevent burnout, it’s all about finding that small joy a day. A medium sized joy a week. And a big sized joy a month. Go find your joys, sweet friend.
Tune in above!
CATCH THE SHOW NOTE BREAKDOWN:
2:00 – Why humans feel rejection so deeply
5:30 – Overcoming the “sting” of rejection
7:45 – The mindset to embrace when rejected for your pricing
9:15 – Placing value not in yourself, but in your work
10:20 – How to log your success and failures
14:15 – Cutting out negative self talk.
17:45 – Identifying what your gifted at
20:48 – What is your unique definition of success?
23:00 – Turning down comparison
24:15 – Find that small joy a day, your medium size joy a week and big joy a month
26:30 – Fill your cup first in order to pour into others
I hope you’re feeling encouraged, sweet friend. It is totally possible to grasp this concept of rejection and negative self talk and find the tiny joys in your days.
Join us next time as we continue to build on this conversation about rejection and negative self talk. Next time we’ll be talking all about setting clear boundaries and how to handle difficult clients. You won’t want to miss it.
If you want to chat with Josh for encouragement or advice on this topic you can email him directly at: email@example.com
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