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As an entrepreneur, I know how tough it is to wrestle with anxiety, stress, and burnout—especially as I manage my own anxiety disorder while running my business. This topic is very near and dear to my heart, so I wanted to share my own experience in hopes that it helps someone out there.
This episode is not going to feed into toxic positivity by highlighting this as my superpower—because it’s not. It has given me a deeper understanding of myself and provided me with more awareness of how I operate, so in some cases, it’s helped face how I can grow in ways that aren’t comfortable or easy.
You’re not alone. You do not need to feel alone or alienated because of your anxiety or any mental health conditions that you may have.
Shifting Your Mindset Around Your Anxiety
When I was first diagnosed with my anxiety disorder, I was living a very stressful, overwhelming day-to-day life with too much on my plate in my business. I had to acknowledge that I had an anxiety disorder and take a look at how I approach anxiety as a whole. This meant a big mindset shift in how I treated myself while dealing with my own anxiety.
Instead of allowing anxiety to become an excuse that I blamed all of my mistakes, failures, and shortcomings on, I chose to remind myself that anxiety is a part of the human experience and it is not something to hold you back.
My anxiety disorder is just a complex layer to who I am.
Creating a Schedule to Work with Your Anxiety Disorder
After taking the steps to learn how I work best with my anxiety disorder, I began to honor those needs by creating a schedule that works best for who I am.
I’ve built a huge amount of grace into my day to day schedule. Through self-awareness and therapy, I’ve learned what triggers my anxiety, so I’m avoiding those triggers or coming to terms with them.
Consider what those triggers could be for you. For example, if I look at my schedule and have a busy schedule of back to back meetings, I’ll be a bundle of anxiety at the end of the day. Therefore, I’m intentional with my calendar and protective over my time.
While I prioritize having a flexible schedule, I’m still very organized in how I’m spending and scheduling my time to best serve me, because I find comfort in rigidity and boundaries.
Managing Anxiety on a Day-to-Day Basis
While we’ve covered the basics of mindset shifts and creating a schedule that works best for you, it’s important to discuss the day-to-day of managing an anxiety disorder, especially when you’re a business owner that works for yourself.
A few simple priorities that help manage my anxiety day-to-day:
- Exercise
- Sleep
- Therapy
- Stay Hydrated
- CBD Oil
- Sunshine + Vitamin D
While I do still struggle with anxiety in my life and business, I’ve found that I have grown from it. It’s kept me hyper focused and alert in what I’m doing and how I’m performing, so I don’t think it’s been a hinderance in my two businesses, but I had to do the work to get here. If you’re willing to be kind to yourself consistently and do the work, your anxiety can be a beautiful part of your story.
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Mental Health Episodes with Josh Berger:
Episode 122: Conquering the Fear of Success or Failure
Episode 123: Defining Your Identity + Sense of Balance as an Entrepreneur
Episode 124: How To Navigate Rejection + Diffuse Negative Self-Talk as an Entrepreneur
Episode 125: Setting Clear Boundaries and Handling Difficult Clients
Episode 126: Managing Stress as an Entrepreneur
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Bonnie Bakhtiari 0:07
Hi, friends and welcome to the brand strategy podcast a show created to equip you with the inspiration, encouragement and clarity you need to build a brand of your dreams. I’m your host, Bonnie bakhtiari, re designer, strategist and founder of healing retreat. From sustainable strategy to heartfelt encouragement. Each episode is designed to equip you with the tools you need to chase after your dreams. Because you deserve a brand that empowers you to do what you love, connects with your dream clients, and offers a deep sense of fulfillment along the way. So grab a cup of coffee and join me on this journey. Well.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 0:46
Hey, friends, welcome back to the brand strategy podcast where Today we are having a conversation around something that is near and dear to my heart. And that is that anxiety. As an entrepreneur, I know how common it is to wrestle with anxiety, with stress with burnout. And personally, I have been very, very open in the past about my own mental health journey and my own relationship with anxiety, burnout, and more. I am someone who is living proof that you can run a business with an anxiety disorder, and it does not have to hold you back. In fact, I believe that my anxiety disorder has not hindered me in any way shape, or form. I’m not going to lie, I’m not going to sugarcoat it or dive into any sort of like toxic positivity about, you know, it’s actually my superpower, or anything like that.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 1:51
But I do believe that it has given me a deeper understanding of myself, it’s helped me build a different level of self awareness that other people might not have. And so in, in some cases, it has helped me come face to face with how I can grow in ways that aren’t always comfortable or aren’t always easy. And so yeah, some good things have been a part of that there have been some, some beautiful silver linings in that. So today, I want to talk with you about what it looks like to run a business with anxiety and share this from my own personal perspective. So that if anything, you know, you’re not alone. Of course, I want to mention that I am not a therapist or a counselor, I do not have any mental health training. So this is not an excuse, or a substitute for actual advice and counseling from a therapist or a mental health expert. But this is my own personal experience.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 2:49
And so I want to talk through with you today a few things that have helped me when it comes to running not one but two successful businesses with an anxiety disorder. So that hopefully, there are some things that you can take away and try with your own journey. If anything, I just want you to know that I see you, I am supporting you, you are not alone. And you do not need to feel alone or alienated because of your anxiety or any mental health conditions that you might have. Here’s the thing. In the creative entrepreneurial community, there has been this beautiful resurgence, this beautiful openness, about the empowering conversations that have been coming to the surface around mental health. That’s been something that’s really been amazing to see over the last couple of yours. And one conversation that I see so frequently, is this topic of anxiety among the creative entrepreneurial community. And it’s not surprising to know that so many entrepreneurs wrestle with anxiety or stress disorders. Now if you’re living with an anxiety disorder, you may have been aware of this for years, this may be new information to you, this may be like a new diagnosis you’re coming to terms with. And so wherever you are in your journey, I want to reiterate that you’re not alone.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 4:06
Honestly, if I can do it, you can do it. If I can figure this out, you are going to be great, trust me. Today, I want to talk you through some of the ways that I have used over the years to run successful businesses with an anxiety disorder, the way that I’ve taught myself to flip the script on anxiety and really what some people see as a hindrance and how I really learned to embrace that part of myself as a complex yet beautiful layer of who I am. So let’s dive into it. So first of all, I needed to have a big mindset shift around anxiety in order to not view it as a hindrance or you know, any kind of negativity that so many people out there are viewing. Now, when I first became aware of my anxiety disorder, I was at a point in my life where I was just truly well and truly overwhelmed by all the things that I was doing. I had a lot going on in my day to day life I was trying to figure life out. And then on top of that kind of adding in this like extra ingredient of anxiety, I was like, Okay, cool. How am I meant to figure this out? Am I supposed to know what I’m doing? Nope. Okay, cool.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 5:15
And I wanted to figure this out in a way that didn’t make me feel like I was missing out on like, quote, unquote, normal experiences that other business owners might have without anxiety is part of the equation. But I found that first and foremost, if I was going to navigate life, not just business, but life, as someone with anxiety, I had to choose to do it differently. I couldn’t just pretend like I didn’t have anxiety, I couldn’t ignore it, I couldn’t like shove it in the closet and close the door, and keep the light off and pretend that that wasn’t a part of my life. So for me, that meant flipping the script in my mind, and changing my mindset, and my approach when it comes to anxiety as a whole. So instead of allowing anxiety to be an excuse, or something that I kind of blame my mistakes or my failures or my shortcomings on, I chose to treat myself with courage and self compassion, I chose to remind myself that anxiety is a part of the human experience.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 6:11
And it is not anything to hold you back, I keep talking about anxiety in my life as a really just a complex layer to who I am. And when I think of that, in my mind, it looks like this beautiful, multifaceted gem, it looks like every angle, and every cut is different. There’s something that catches the light in a different way, none of those facets are the same, none are necessarily more beautiful or stronger or more worthy than the other. But when we we look at every angle, and every cut, and every facet together, it creates this beautiful one of a kind stone that just shines that just gleams when the light hits it. So I like to think of this one of a kind, multifaceted gem when it comes to my own sense of self and my own mental health. And I believe if you’re able to grasp this mindset shift as well, maybe that’s kind of a picture in your mind that you can revisit or maybe a technique of envisioning and, you know, kind of realization that you can employ.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 7:14
And I believe that it can help create kind of a sense of hope and possibility and some spaciousness and positivity, where there might have been confusion or shame or frustration, and previously, so yeah, so I’m not gonna lie, living with anxiety is complicated. It’s not sunshine, it’s not rainbows. It’s not necessarily fun. But it doesn’t have to be something that surrounds you back with a feeling of negativity or feeling like you don’t measure up. So once I mastered that mindset shift, and to be honest, as with all mindset shifts, this is something that I practice on a daily basis, some days are easier than others, some days, it’s comes to me more readily.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 7:53
Other days, I have to really coach myself through it to kind of get my mind where it needs to be. But once I started to really practice that and show up for myself in that way, I started to actually, you know, work a little bit differently, I started to take some practical steps to work things into my day to day life in my day to day schedule that honors, who I am, and how unique I am. So some of those things look like, you know, carrying myself differently. Like first and foremost, I build a huge amount of grace into my day to day schedule.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 8:26
I’ve learned through therapy and self awareness that there are certain triggers that really aggravate my anxiety. So I’m learning and I’m employing practices that can help, you know, eliminate those triggers, or ease them or build up my familiarity with those triggers. So I’m not triggered in that way. And I’m avoiding things or, you know, coming to terms with things that make my anxiety worse. And I have found some common themes that actually allow me to build care for myself into my day to day routine. So I know that if I am, you know, looking at my schedule for the day, and I’ve got like back to back meetings, there’s no breathing room, I don’t have time for lunch, I barely have time to get up from my desk, I’m going to be like an anxiety monster at the end of the day, like my husband is not going to want to hang out with me because I am going to be this bundle of anxiety and feelings and like all of the emotions.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 9:20
So in light of that I actually am really protective of my calendar. I’m really intentional with when I choose meetings, how I build in buffers, how I build in lunches, you know how I build in time, breathing room to give myself a whole lot of grace. So that schedule is really, really flexible. I think that there’s a little bit of irony and saying that, like my schedule is flexible, and I focus on creating a flexible schedule, because, you know, I think that when I experience a smaller degree of anxiety in a situation when I have uncertainty and there’s not like some clear boundaries and a set schedule, like you know, I think Get a little things get a little like dicey for me because I do actually find comfort in rigidity, I do find comfort in clear boundaries and clear expectations. So flexibility can actually be a little overwhelming for me. But I’ve learned that in order to care for myself best, I have to allow a certain degree of flexibility into my work day, so I can have the time to care for myself in the best way possible.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 10:22
So an example of this is if I have a ton going on, in my personal life, and I know that I’m going to have a day where I am going to, you know, probably be on my toes a lot, and I’m going to be wrestling with anxiety, it’s better for me, if I take some time off, if I cut back on my priorities, or I re align my priorities for that day. So I’m able to take a half day or, you know, take a three quarters day or something like that, if at the very least, I need to take a few steps back and give myself space and time and kindness to be human and to practice self compassion, then that’s what happens that needs to happen. Because they’re, I benefit, in no way shape, or form. And none of us benefit when we beat ourselves up. And when we are hard on ourselves, and when we hold ourselves to unrealistic standards of perfection.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 11:12
So here’s a little bit of what this looks like in action on a day to day basis, right, we’re talking through like, kind of, we’re starting with like some big picture stuff like mindset. Now we’re going to break it down a little bit more into the minutiae of managing anxiety on a more day to day basis. And again, this is what has worked for me, I’m speaking a lot about myself here, because this is just anecdotal personal experience, but I’m sharing this because I am hopeful that it can help you too. So some things that I use in my day to day to practically manage my anxiety on a regular basis are some really not so special things like that. I have no secrets here, these are not like so special, amazing life changing things. These are like like, deceptively simple things that make a really big difference for me. And I think that you’ll find that they can actually bring a lot of peace and consistency, which provides so much stability, especially if you’re someone who benefits from stability in your day to day. So first of all, is exercise first step, even if it’s like just walking my dog down the street, a simple act of moving, getting those endorphins going can really do wonders.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 12:16
And I find it especially on the days when I don’t want to move my body or the days that I really do need to move my body. Working out can help to get you outside of your head. It can be something that is physically demanding your attention on a specific movement in order to you know, like navigate your strength class or your run correctly. That’s something that challenges you right to get out of your head. Get outside of yourself a little bit focus on your body, focus on your breathing, stop overthinking things. And at the end of every workout, I know that I feel better and when I talk to my friends who also have anxiety, I know that they also feel better when they move their bodies as well. If I’m having a bad day or a funk exercise is actually one of my go to remedies. So it’s something that I build as a part of my everyday routine to help me become a happier and hopefully a healthier person, not just physically it’s you know, not about like, you know, necessarily building muscle or fitting into like a dress size or anything ridiculous like that. It’s really about being mentally and emotionally the best version of myself. The second thing that I prioritize heavily is sleep.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 13:22
I am the worst version of myself when I am sleep deprived, like not gonna lie, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, I’m not nice to be around. So creating a schedule and creating protective boundaries around bedtime around my nighttime hygiene has been a game changer for me. So I have a really dependable nighttime routine where I’m disconnecting from stimulating screentime like the computer or the TV, my phone, I’m disconnecting from conversations about work or family life or any of those kinds of things. I don’t read anything that’s like really stimulating or like engaging or you know, anything super interesting. Instead, I focus on slowing my body down. So slowing my rhythm down, calming my mind really changing my energy around that time of the day.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 14:00
So this is a great time if I have not done this yet to meditate during a sleep meditation. I currently love using the peloton app there are 1000s and 1000s of meditations on that app that are geared towards anxiety, peace, rest, recovery and sleep. And it’s such an easy way to spend like five or 10 minutes getting your mind in that space where you’re able to kind of slow things down, calm down and get ready for for rest. And so carving out time every single day, especially in busy students of work when I know that I can count on, you know, the minimum number of hours that I need for rest. That has been a really huge game changer for me. And I know that that looks different for every single person but knowing what that can look like for you and knowing how you can care for yourself in the long term. The benefits of sleep cannot be stressed enough. This is such an incredible gift that you give yourself in sleep truly the form of self care. Other things that I do that practically helped me out Single Day therapy, okay, I don’t do this every day. But I do this regularly. And it has been such a game changer for me because finding a trustworthy person that I can meet with on a regular basis has been just such an incredible thing in my life, it has given me the safe and open space where I can be vulnerable, where I can learn how to become the most emotionally resilient and mature version of myself.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 15:22
And I think that therapy is a fantastic experience for anyone in any season of your life, you don’t have to be in crisis to need therapy. Actually, one of the things that I tell so many of my students over the years is that if you want to be the best version of yourself, not just the best business owner you can be, but the best version of yourself, for your family, for yourself, go to therapy doesn’t have to be a conversation or relationship where you’re like reliving past traumas or walking through difficult family things. And of course, that is a really crucial space to process those emotional experiences in your life where you have had toxic relationships or traumatic experiences. But your your relationship with a therapist can be whatever you want it to be, it can be, you know, a space for you to navigate and heal from hard things and move in a direction of growth, it can be a space to, you know, talk through the relationships in your life, to think about the kind of person you want to be and how to move in that direction of being that person. So before I started going to therapy, my anxiety was actually manifesting itself physically in ways that it never had before.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 16:25
And it was really out of control. And it was my anxiety was running my life and I wasn’t running my life. But since I started going to therapy, and I have been going consistently for years now, I’m actually able to talk through things that normally would have like in the past, like that past version of myself would have really triggered my anxiety and I’m able to understand what’s at the root of it, I’m able to understand how to carry myself with grace and self compassion and control my anxiety disorder and not let it control me. So obviously big fan of therapy over here, in case you haven’t noticed, I now will even go sometimes months without having an anxiety attack, which for me is really, really dramatic and very different from how life used to be. Now I’m not gonna lie, living through the pandemic has changed things and has added a different kind of collective trauma and personal struggle that I was not expecting. And so that, of course, like that, that compounds those experiences compound, the way that you are experiencing anxiety and the way that you are your body is responding to what’s going on around you. And for me, that’s why this idea of carrying myself with self compassion has been so incredibly helpful. Now, I think that, you know, I could like talk about the benefits of therapy all day long. Other practical things I know like I said, y’all, these are not groundbreaking.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 17:48
Other things that helped me stay hydrated. Drink water, you’re basically a complicated houseplant with emotions. So be nice to yourself, make sure that you’re well watered CBD oil that has been a I treat it like a dietary supplement. This is something that I take on a daily basis and it is a derivative of hemp plants. It is a fantastic way to manage things like stress and anxiety and inflammation in your body pain, things like that, you can take it as a pill, you can take it as a an oil or a tincture that you add to food or beverages or you apply under your tongue. I like to take my CBD orally. Or sometimes if I’m feeling fancy, I’ll mix it with my coffee. Speaking of which, I know that a lot of a lot of people are like if you have anxiety, you should cut back in your coffee. But that is not a compromise that I’m willing to make at this point in time. So coffee stays. But I do drink a lot of water. And you know thinking about other things that are good for you making sure that you’re getting plenty of sunshine, plenty of vitamin D that’s so good for your body.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 18:46
And vitamin D studies have shown that vitamin D has been linked to low levels of vitamin D has been linked to appearances of depression and anxiety. And so when our vitamin D levels are at more optimal points, then your brain has more of what it needs to be the happy, healthy version of you. I could go on and on about this. But friends, these are just some practical things that I find that are personally helpful for me. Something that I do want to note is that, you know, like I was saying, obviously I was going on about what therapy looks like for me and how useful that has been for me. If you are not in a season of life where that is something that is accessible to you or that’s something that you personally are not ready to dive into. I respect that. There are some other amazing resources out there so many incredible therapists have like online courses or guides or resources that are free or very low cost. One thing that I really like it’s called the NGS, the anti anxiety notebook. And if you just Google the anti anxiety notebook, I think it’s like it’s under $50. It’s this beautiful, beautiful, interactive journal that’s created by a cognitive behavioral therapist specifically to help you navigate your anxiety as it occurs in a day to day fashion and understand your anxiety.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 20:05
So that’s a really great therapy alternative. And I definitely think that if you are ready to, to, you know, start to like explore a relationship with a therapist or a counselor or someone to connect with, there are some great, great ways to get connected with someone in your area. I think that Psychology Today has a location search feature where you can type in your zip code and see a list of people who are social workers, clergy, members, therapists, counselors, people who are ready and willing to help support you in your journey. And you know, of course, you can just do a good old fashioned Google search or chat with a friend and see, hey, do you know anyone? Do you have any recommendations, word of mouth can be a great way to connect with someone who can help you. But all that being said, I am understanding that therapy is very personal, it can be very vulnerable experience. And if you don’t feel seen or heard or respected by that person, give yourself the permission to find someone else, give yourself the permission to break up with that therapist, and go see someone else. Because this is meant to be a relationship that benefits you and helps you become the best, most healthy and safe and happy version of yourself. And if that professional is not supporting you in that journey, you know, you got to talk to them, you don’t got to pay them your dollars.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 21:25
So friends, I want you to know, if you take away just one thing from this conversation today, I want you to know that anxiety doesn’t have to hold you back doesn’t have to run your life doesn’t have to be a hard thing. Like I said, Nothing that I’m sharing here is rocket science. But if you focus on practicing self compassion, if you focus on caring yourself with kindness, and grace, I do believe that you can start to build a healthier relationship with your anxiety. And I speak from personal experience in that. And over the years, you know, I’ve learned some great ways to manage my own anxiety. I’m honestly a very high functioning person. And I do believe that even even though I’m high functioning, I do believe that having an anxiety disorder, even though it’s hard, and even though it can really be a crippling thing to wrestle with it, sometimes it can also help keep me driven.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 22:22
If I’m being honest, I think that a lot of the reason why I have grown in my business and in my life is because of my anxiety, it’s kind of kept me like hyper focused and on hyper alert and very aware of how I’m showing up and how I’m performing. And you know, who I am and how I’m acting. So I don’t think that for me, personally, anxiety has been a hindrance and growing my two businesses over the almost decade that I’ve been in business, but I do think that it’s a complex, intricate part of who you are. And if you’re open to it, and if you’re willing to do the work to get to know yourself and to continue to, you know, examine your relationship with your anxiety to continue to create some space for yourself in the day to day where you can be kind to yourself consistently and make that a non negotiable part of your life. I think that your anxiety can be something that can be a really beautiful part of your story. And it can be a catalyst on your journey to just getting to become who you are in the fullest and most whole and most beautiful sense of the word.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 23:27
So friend, if you struggle with anxiety, and this has been any kind of help for you, I would so love to hear that. So love to cheer you on. If this is something that is again, like I said kind of a newer discovery for you. And you want some support, feel free to just shoot me a DM on Instagram, you can find me @bonniejoymarie, and I would love to just hold some space for you encourage you be there for you support you any way that I can. I hope that this has been, you know an encouraging an encouraging episode today. I know this is a little different from our usual content that we talked about in terms of running your business, but you can’t run a successful business if you the person behind the business is just running into the ground.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 24:12
Over the last few years that I have hosted the brand strategy podcast I’ve actually done a series of mental health related topics with a licensed professional therapist and mental health expert Josh Berger. Full disclosure, he also happens to be my big brother, but we did a series of mental health for entrepreneurs style interviews where we talk about setting boundaries we talked about redefining success. We talked about imposter syndrome, the fear of failure and so many incredible things that I know so many entrepreneurs wrestle with so we can make sure that those episodes are linked in the show notes. So if you want to go to brand strategy podcast.com and click on the latest episode link in the show notes, you’re gonna see all of these resources that we’ve been talking about or if you are tuning in, in Apple podcasts or Spotify, or wherever you tune into your favorite podcast. If you just scroll back a bit, you’ll be able to find all these incredible mental health related conversations with our guest expert Josh Berger as well. Friends. As always, I appreciate you spending your time with me today. I’m so grateful to be able to share this little part of my story. And I am grateful for the opportunity to potentially encourage one of you who could resonate with some part of my crazy journey. As always, I’m cheering you on from Waco, I’m here to support you in growing the business of your dreams. So feel free to pass this episode along to someone who you know could find some benefit from it. Or feel free to reach out if you have questions or want to continue the conversation with me on Instagram. As always, thank you for your support if the brand strategy podcast, and I can’t wait to chat with you again next time.
Bonnie Bakhtiari 26:06
Thank you so much for joining me today friend. Before you go, I would be so grateful to receive your feedback on the brand strategy podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, or the podcast in general has helped you grow your brand. I’d really appreciate it if you left us a review in iTunes. Your positive reviews enable the brand strategy podcast to continue to grow and reach like minded creatives just like you. Plus, I’ll be randomly selecting a handful of lucky reviewers each month to receive a little Thank you surprise for me in the mail. Thank you for all your support and encouragement as together we pursue building brands with purpose and intention. Until next time, I’m cheering you on from waco
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